Don't make a fuss?

So what do we make of the recent television ads that encourage us not to make a fuss when dad or mum dies?

Is this truly the type of society that we have become? One where the loss of a father, son, brother or coach is just dealt with, with as little fuss as possible?

What is wrong with this picture? Is it not our role as the ones left behind to get together and tell the stories of our brother, son, dad and mate? Should we not make some space in our busy lives to meet together and remember and support each other?

Funerals should not be viewed as an event to create a fuss for our families but rather as an event that allows our community to remember the moments that mattered. Funerals are about the living as much as they are about the dead. Someone very wise once said "when there are no words let ceremony fill the gap” or something along those lines.

Perhaps we have lost sight or lost the meaning in ceremonies. We are running a real risk by encouraging the notion that having no funeral is the best solution in order to minimize fuss. Perhaps the real question is why not make a fuss?

If your old man was a legend why not tell those stories together one last time with him present in the room. Funerals don't have to be in a chapel, church or a formal setting. Why not take the old man back to his man cave and gather the community there?

Funerals are changing and people should be allowed and encouraged to make a fuss and do it their way. Everyone matters and everyone should be remembered in a manner that is fitting. We should be encouraging people to make a fuss and to reflect, remember and receive the support of their communities and this is all achieved through a funeral...